I’m Finally Able to Become the Person I Thought I Wanted to Be in My Twenties

I am a Prozac guinea pig. I used Prozac to my and many others detriment, in 1995. I used it because I was homesick.

By training, I am a psychiatrically disabled attorney. I started on Zoloft during a violent relationship. I lost my emotional stability and advocacy while I was using Zoloft. I have missed nine years of what most probably been potentially productive employment.

Zoloft and/ or Valium were instrumental in creating a psychopathic me. That is not who I am. The psychopath abused animals, made a nuisance of herself in myriad means, and tried to deafen herself. Yes, hearing damage is an effect of all SSRIs. For a music lover, this is particularly devastating.

On Haldol, given to me to counter my drug induced psychosis, I had lethal hallucinations, and was unpredictably violent. Unacceptable. Luckily, while on Haldol, I became anaphylactic. I stopped it. Within a few days of that, my mom stabilized and the hallucinations vanished.

By Christmas 2012, I had read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. The problem is likely Zoloft and malnutrition. After I felt suicidal in a line, I went completely off Zoloft. I hurt my family during my drug use.

They are now my biggest supporters.

According to my counselor, my case is really “fascinating.” I can’t really explain what happened. I do know I have survived a lot of very bad medicine.

I do not trust that psychiatry is a valid practice of medicine. If I believed in palm reading it would help. I don’t and I won’t.

With that said, I am chary of giving advice. I believe in time, anti depressants will be illegal. Our society, here in the US, is addicted. It is time to step away and a new way. Perhaps a means of solving problems and creating solutions together.

Thank you.