My Own Personal Evolution

In the spring of 2009 I suffered a psychosis that lasted over a year. I was labeled schizophrenic instead of depressed because the hallucinations were far more encapsulating than a depressed experience, with full tactile sensibility and a completely different world.

I was 28 at the time.

Throughout this experience, I always had intuitions that this was going to pass, and that I knew I needed to be scared of a psychiatrist, without even knowing many of the horror stories. So I survived as long as my savings would allow me, until I had to ask for help from my mother, allowing her to reabuse me.

I didn’t know anything about women’s health at the time, making me an easy target for another sell. Eventually I have rid myself of the psychiatric drug, risperidone that made me want to die, and deadened all sensitivity in my body.

I had to reexperience a psychosis for this process to stop, when it would have stopped naturally if the cops would have penalized my mother, for mixing cleaners around me, leaving me alone for weeks on end while psychotic, and leaving no decent food.

I have since rid myself of all germ and woman care, seeing myself as a scientific process, with innate value, instead of an economic component to be exploited with the unnecessary prescribing of steroids and pesticides and alcohol and caffeine, oh my.

All of these represent our dualistic culture of stimulating or inhibiting the brain, and are a horror for fertility. I have made a complete recovery, and actually feel better than I did previously, the content of the hallucinations being integral to my own personal evolution and could turn out to be what has saved my life.

The human really is interesting, you just can’t keep pushing it down. Best of luck to you, and I wish you a full life.